7 reasons you’re struggling to set boundaries

ONE IDEA FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT 

Have you ever felt like people don't respect your time or energy?

I used to feel like people weren't taking me seriously, that I was saying yes when I really wanted to say no.

Then I realized the problem: I wasn't setting boundaries.

Once I learned how to create and stick to boundaries, everything changed.

Now, I feel valued by others AND myself, confident in expressing my needs, and comfortable handling any conflict.

If you’re struggling with boundaries, you’re not alone.

Here are 7 reasons why it’s hard to set boundaries and how you can start setting them with confidence:

1. You feel guilty saying no
↳ If you’re a people-pleaser, boundaries can feel like big walls.
Try this: Start small. Practice saying no to smaller requests before tackling bigger ones.

2. You don’t know what you need
↳ It’s hard to set boundaries when you’re not clear on your non-negotiables.
Try this: Write down your top priorities and align your boundaries to protect them (for example, sleep).

3. You worry about being “difficult”
↳ Boundaries aren’t about being selfish. They’re about respecting your time and energy. You will show up better for others when you respect yourself.
Try this: Reframe it. Think of boundaries as tools that create clarity and respect for everyone involved.

4. You’re afraid of missing out on opportunities
↳ Not every opportunity (or night out) aligns with your priorities.
Try this: Before saying yes, ask, “Is this something I need to do?”

5. No one around you has boundaries
↳ It’s hard to set boundaries when others don’t lead by example.
Try this: Be the first. Set clear boundaries and let your actions inspire others.

6. You’re afraid of conflict
↳ Boundaries aren’t about creating tension. They’re about being clear and kind.
Try this: Frame boundaries positively. For example, instead of “I can’t help right now,” say, “I need to focus on this task.”

7. You haven’t practiced enough
↳ Setting boundaries can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first.
Try this: Start with one small boundary and build from there. Confidence grows with practice.

ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF

Write down one area of your life where you feel drained or undervalued.

Then ask yourself:

Is there a boundary I could set to protect my time, energy, or mental health? Start small.

ONE EXERCISE FOR YOU TO TRY THIS WEEK

Commit to practicing that boundary this week.

Start small. Confidence comes from taking the first step.

Setting boundaries has been one of the most courageous (and freeing) things I’ve done for myself. When you honor your boundaries, you honor your worth!